Recent Comments

Anonymous
11/12/20, 1:20 PM
Tyler reminds me of German Shepherd ,which means that he needs to be trained well ; )
11/12/20, 12:57 PM
Fuckin amazing Boss,
Luke
11/12/20, 12:53 PM
The description of the dramatic tension between Tyler and Robin is terrific, never have I ever shipped a couple like this pair before. Cannot wait to see how Tyler work hard, hoping to impress the professor.
11/12/20, 12:12 PM
This. Is. GREAT!!!
Ng5hvlo4
11/12/20, 12:11 PM
it is a good start, but it was difficult to follow the dialogue (using " " and new paragraphs for that would help), and while the introduction and MC scenes were well thought out, it felt rushed to get to the point where the recruit became a Squad Leader and went out to the streets with the others (who were not mentioned at all before then, making it feel out of place). The rubber aspect was a nice touch, but (at least for me) the smoking aspect took away from the hot factor; I'm sure others will disagree with me on that point.
11/12/20, 10:25 AM
Well done on the story so far, I'm a sucker for a man in a slutty outfit, so it's always nice to see that transformation. And there's something great to the "friends rewritten as lovers" parts that appear also. Diversity is always fun, though it's sad that it makes the collages more difficult to pull together. Obviously there needs to be greater revealing clothes representation for men everywhere. As for suggestions, I'd second the staff needing some more attention. Maybe a scantily-costumed tout on the street to help get more customers in. The other idea that I've had rattling around for a while was a bachelor party. Obnoxious as a group, but quickly converted to a slutty wedding party, when the best man is promoted to other groom. Anyway, keep up the good work!
Mr E
11/12/20, 9:24 AM
@Lusty Stallion the pictures are always a nice feature in these stories. My idea was a group of white people turn into those ethnicities. Maybe like a bouncer in the club or more club staff. No matter where you take the story I can't wait to read it.
Anonymous
11/12/20, 9:24 AM
It's a good start. Looking forward to what comes next.
11/12/20, 8:22 AM
Always good to have MAL back.
11/12/20, 8:18 AM
Please continue this!
Martin
11/12/20, 7:29 AM
> Maybe you could check with Martin if he can transfer the chapters in the old series to this one… The "owner" of the old series is still HypnoFanatic and I just don't want to take their ownership away. I'm fine with creating a new series as a continuation, and I agree, it would be perfect to add a link to the original series. I took the liberty of adding that link to your story.
11/12/20, 6:18 AM
Hi! This is one of the best series here, thank you for providing such a great dumb hypnotist character! As for the content, I prefer when Ethan is a bottom, the laundromat was waaaay hotter to me than this chapter. So I vote for the Uber part, with the suggestion than some drug events occur in the club (I picture Ethan very well getting high with xtc he'd "accidently" asked for and ending up in another gangbang before taking his Uber). But whatever you'll write I can't wait to read it!
11/12/20, 5:54 AM
:P this story is a cluster of hot and funny. I vote for burglers!
11/12/20, 4:25 AM
you are right on that, I forgot about it. Maybe you could check with Martin if he can transfer the chapters in the old series to this one... or maybe put a link inside the story (on the note before the story) to the old series. Anyway, is great you decide to continue this ^ ^ hope read more from you soon!!
11/12/20, 3:12 AM
Alas, sadly, this particular story is focused on Tyler's POV.
11/12/20, 2:41 AM
I only though of Ethan and Sam together because Taylor gets what he wants, while Ethan and Sam seemed more like they were unfortunately punished for Taylor's desires. I still loved the chapter though. It was really hot.
11/12/20, 12:49 AM
Great slow transformation. I especially like how you have him completely attracted to the lifestyle and man he will become.
11/12/20, 12:33 AM
Perfect ending! A great trilogy!
11/12/20, 12:04 AM
@Gay_Genes - Oh man, there's a pairing I never considered. I thought about Taylor/Sam as the couple, and Ethan left on the outside, but that was too fuckin' sad for me. @LondonBoi - Thanks! An accidental one, but once the ideas got flowing I couldn't stop em. @MonsterMash62 - I felt like Sam had to take the third part, just cuz it seemed natural with the way the other two parts went. Originally Ethan was gonna magic himself into a bull just out of jealousy with Sam, misjudging just how big and horny he needed to get. Once I swapped to Sam as the POV, I realized I couldn't show that thought process from Ethan, so Sam got to manipulate the situation a bit and trick Ethan into a more extreme spell than was necessary. As for Sam's last curse - I didn't want to change anything about his alpha persona, but I shifted his priorities towards taking care of his boys. I think it'll work out for all of them. @anon - Thanks bro! @Cadek - Man, I'm glad it worked. I thought I was gonna get through a whole story without dumbing anyone down, but nope, that's the direction my dick took us in. @Feed Your Head - The funny thing is, Sam's still an alpha bro, he's just an alpha who gives a damn about someone other than himself. @Hypnoguy67 - Thanks! Once I made the spells oblivious for the subject, it was basically impossible to tell it all from the same POV. Makes it really hard to talk about changes when the character can't know about them. @absman420 - Thank you sir! I felt like Sam had a good voice, even if he's not everybody's cup of tea. The last chapter flows a little faster than it needed to, but I was super baked last night when I wrote it, so I'm just happy it's coherent.
11/11/20, 11:52 PM
@Ruffcub - Thanks man! I wasn't sure quite where to cut the cliffhanger, so chapter 3 actually backtracks a little from another POV, just to get the coverage. @Nupiter - That'd be a weird thing to lie about bro. Yeah, like I mentioned, I thought this was gonna be a single shot story. But you horny fuckers got the better of me, so here we are ;) @Catalust - Thanks! It'll be a combination of Ethan's puppy love and Sam's manipulation. @absman420 - Thank you sir! I had no idea it was a love spell til the words appeared on my screen. Pesky fingers, always making stuff up without asking me. @TexMuscle - Thanks man! The story circle is great for helping structure, but I gotta be honest - the thing that new writers gotta do most is *write*. Don't worry too much about anything else but getting words on paper. Once that's second nature, that's a good time to focus on tightening your plots and making your dialog better. Write something that gets you off, not something you think is technically perfect. Sure, some of the comments on this site can be brutal, but don't worry about the haters. Just write something you wanna read.
11/11/20, 10:53 PM
I wrote a story last year titled [PHOLUS REBORN](https://www.gayspiralstories.com/story/show/655873) that relied heavily on the Greek Myths, using obscure characters, but still using the mythology as a backdrop for the story. This story reminds me of that vein -- using religious mythology as a backdrop. That it happens to be the Xian mythology could really ruffle some feathers, but I hope people instead read it as I suggest. Honestly, it's a good start. Keep going.
11/11/20, 10:42 PM
Great trilogy -- succinct but satisfying. Liked the POV this chapter. It all worked. Well done!
11/11/20, 10:37 PM
Really good story, I'd like the symbiote to grow a cock and fuck the next encased convert.
11/11/20, 9:11 PM
Very hot trilogy. The switch in pov's is a great mechanism to continue the storyline. Awesome writing as usual, Derek.
Mar 20, 2015
11/11/20, 9:07 PM
next?
Anonymous
11/11/20, 9:04 PM
voting for the burglers
Author
11/11/20, 7:14 PM
The term 'dragon' has many connotations. We'll see.
11/11/20, 6:09 PM
I think I'll go for the burglar story. This is so hilarious, I love this whole series! Ethan is just such a unique main character, and I love how creative the chapters get, Really one of the best story currently, albeit I'm not so much into degrading, so this chapter was a little less hot for me than the others two.
11/11/20, 5:51 PM
Great conclusion! Most of all I'm happy that Sam got taken down a peg or six with the final enchantment. I don't like "alpha bros" in real life, so reading about them isn't fun, either--but the newest version of Sam is much more manageable. Fantastic ending! :)
11/11/20, 5:38 PM
To answer everyone's questions, yes it was a community series, but to publish in the series, it requires the author to approve of the chapter. HypnoFanatic unfortunately didn't disable this setting before they went inactive, so a new series was created as a continuation.