Recent Comments

7/7/20, 4:53 PM
Yeah, this series makes me want to have a sweet, buff puppy jock boyfriend lol. I'm glad Nate finally said the L word and realized how great what he had was. And im also glad that he finally realized the efforts that Dave has been putting in for his approval. I still dont know whats gonna happen with their lives after college. Whether they remain together, or go their separate ways, I'm hoping they at least have a great high school year. And who knows, maybe Nate and Dave can find each other when their older and starting their own careers.
7/7/20, 4:44 PM
> love the description of the mid heavy couple with their shaved heads (and I hope bodies too) and tight wrestling singlets, my favorite look for musclebound jock freaks > They're a real couple. I was in Miami for a few weeks of work, and they inhabited one of the ocean-front gyms there. The first time I saw them, they wore matching candy-cane stripe singlets with heavy leather weight belts -- flexing and prancing, they were on exhibition. Don't get me wrong, they were fucking gorgeous! Built and beautiful, but some of the shit they wore! I can't even imagine how much of their spare time had been spent spent on grooming... Clearly, it stuck with me -- they're background characters in a couple of stories. Glad you like them in this.
7/7/20, 4:15 PM
Loving it! The scene in the locker room was amazing, to image a nerdy boy just having his way with a jock while he's completely unable to notice it! UNF!
7/7/20, 4:06 PM
Hell yeah! Glad strong finally got in a proper work out with Prince. And holy hell is Prince hitting the next level, becoming a pure muscle and sex beast awesome! Can't wait to see what he does with Strong now. Also love the description of the mid heavy couple with their shaved heads (and I hope bodies too) and tight wrestling singlets, my favorite look for musclebound jock freaks :)
Martin
7/7/20, 3:40 PM
"Paranormal" stories are also covered in the current challenge, so this story is a valid contender. I don't make a difference between Para- and Supernatural. Para means "beyond, past", and that's pretty much the same as "super" in this context. And please stay civil. People have opinions, New Guy in Town has stated his opinion in a civil way, there's no reason to be angry about it or to lash out at him, even if you disagree.
7/7/20, 3:17 PM
Yeah, the son-switch stuff was a really interesting idea that didn't quite work for me. I feel like it either needed to be nicer--maybe the boys could just suddenly believe they had two dads--or meaner, really lingering on the fact that Master Mike has essentially erased a lifelong father-son bond.
7/7/20, 3:06 PM
Loved every bit of this story!!
Anonymous
7/7/20, 2:59 PM
When you google 'supernatural defined', the first entry that appears is from the Oxford Dictionary. It reads "adjective (of a manifestation or event) attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature. "a supernatural being" It then says 'Similar'. This is the first word that follows: paranormal.
7/7/20, 2:54 PM
I love the rimming material and the general nature of events. That said the change in who is whose son is actually something I found myself super disliking, to a point that I didn't even realize how much such a thing would bother me. So I sort of skipped those paragraphs for the rest of the chapter that was pretty sexy.
7/7/20, 2:51 PM
This chapter, like the entire series, definitely pushes my buttons. I especially liked the conversion of Todd as Master Mike's new son. Thanks for continuing the series.
7/7/20, 2:11 PM
Good story, but I would have liked to see more of Hunter's transformation. But it was a really great story :D
7/7/20, 1:41 PM
I've got no problem with the story, which I thought was a hot and fun bite-size piece of erotica. But I do think the contest needed to provide a clearer definition of what a "Supernatural" story entails. To me, this story falls into the category of "weird fiction," which straddles the line between sci-fi and supernatural fantasy. Some details, like the mountain opening up and men being entranced by incantations in a strange language, are more typical of the supernatural fantasy genre; however, we also get details about the biology of these cum-eating alien parasites, which takes us into the realm of sci-fi.
7/7/20, 1:30 PM
😭😭😭 I want a big buff boyfriend that I can casually jerk off,too. 😂😂😂 I love this story more than I thought I would. Kinda sad thats it's over soon
EntrancedGay92
7/7/20, 1:03 PM
Once again I am stepping in because it seems Conversion and New Guy don't know how to open a dictionary. Supernatual is defined as "(of a manifestation or event) attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature". I don't see any mention of anything remotely related to hell on earth. Educate yourself before you speak. I swear the men in this community are becoming more and more unbearable each day.
LthrBikerThug
7/7/20, 12:37 PM
This was a great story and very hot but I feel I have to mention the transformation of Hunter was rushed rather badly. I would have liked to see what caused the full transformation and a true description of Daddy Hunt as well. Overall still a really nice story though and I look forward to your future works!
7/7/20, 12:25 PM
> This is my first time through this story, and I’m loving some of the deconstruction stuff you’re doing. > Thank you! One of my favorite musicals is URINETOWN, which is one of the best deconstructed shows I've ever seen. ("Whoa, whoa there, Little Sally, not all at once. We'll hear more about the water shortage in the next scene... nothing can kill a show like too much exposition...") I hadn't read APOLLYON in a few years, but when I went through it last week to decide if I should post it here, I was pretty pleased with it, especially, as you note, the deconstructive undertone. Ir shows us that Strong is smart and knows what's happening to him -- he wants to believe it's true, but he's a little afraid of it, too. His "I suppose I should expect this next" attitude gives the piece a gentle sense of humor. It works.
7/7/20, 11:05 AM
Lots of fun! And thanks for the really cute ending!
7/7/20, 9:57 AM
Very hot story, as usual! I think it works best when you show the interactions between the various slaves. Coach Sampson persuading his son by saying, "Be a good jock and conform" was probably the erotic high-point for me. On the other hand, we probably get a few too many scenes of Master Mike calling out orders and his slaves immediately obeying. A bit of that is fine but, for me, it starts to feel repetitive over the course of a 10000 word chapter.
7/7/20, 9:50 AM
Thank you for the feedback. I did rush a bit through the sex scene, hopefully the next one feels more organic. Yeah, the dialogue is choppy, and it formats a bit different from the writing part to the published part, for the next one I'm going to try a different approach and if it works better I'll update this one. 😊
7/7/20, 9:31 AM
Very cute story! I like the way you gently poke fun at gay porn fiction cliches, while still indulging in them.
7/7/20, 8:26 AM
A nice piece of writing.
7/7/20, 7:05 AM
Wow, I didn't actually expected a response! Its good to know that you still plan to work on this series! I miss your updates in general. I'm a huge fan of your work!
7/7/20, 6:17 AM
Wow! Great hypnosis story! i don't think i've ever read a story that has detailed the session to this extent, and included so many different steps to further deepen the trance and through each step also deepen their psychological acceptance of male on male sex. i too love the way Max used the actions of the boys with each other and the resulting arousal and sexual pleasure to deepen their trance. Absolutely one of my favorites. Thanks so much!
7/7/20, 5:06 AM
NGiT has a point that's technically valid to me if you wanna be specific for the rules of this period's writing competition. I mean regardless of a mis-tag that hopefully the mods can edit as they see fit appropriately, the story itself is still something that can be judged separately after the tag comments.
7/7/20, 4:39 AM
I like where you're going with this. Very nicely written, and the progression is great.
7/7/20, 4:21 AM
Hey Kyle, thanks for your comment! Happy to hear that someone continues to have interest in this series! Yes, don't worry, I have been working on the next part for quite some time and it's about over halfway through now. I apologize for the massive long delay on it...I got a bit of a writer's block and fatigue with the story after the last few chapters, so decided to take a break from it to refresh my ideas on it. I've slowly started picking up on it again with renewed interest and taking my time to try and write something good rather than just filling up the page. This has been one of my first ventures into fetish story writing, so it's a bit special to me by now and I've committed myself to see through it to its end as I have laid out in mind. So it will come, but I don't want to promise any set timeframe...Hope you can bear with me and stay tuned! ;-)
7/7/20, 3:31 AM
enjoyed this a lot. different, quirky, funny, and endearing. would really like to see more in this story line.
7/7/20, 3:30 AM
Fuck yeah! A badass story, sexy, funny and hard to put down. Thanks for posting
7/7/20, 2:57 AM
@tomozco, is there hope still for an update? Love this series so very much. Especially the piss and the feet stuff
7/7/20, 2:50 AM
my favorite chapter. i read this so many years ago and loved it.