Recent Comments

5/7/20, 9:49 AM
Hottest chapter of the series!!
5/7/20, 8:48 AM
The story is hot and, although the idea is not that original, I liked it. However - it would be much better if your sentences were a lot shorter. Having too many ideas in one sentence confuses the reader and makes it hard to follow the story. Let's take your first sentence. This has nine ideas in it! 1. You are normal. 2. Boring. 3. A human. 4. A loner. 5. You got made fun of. 6. You are a 'rubberist'. 7. You wear rubber. 8. Your clothing choice is the reason you are a loner. 9. One night everything changed. It's really difficult for readers to take in more than two or three ideas per sentence. So, I suggest you break things up a little by using more full stops.
5/7/20, 8:33 AM
I really loved the "call-and-response" scene towards the end with the new recruits. I felt like there were a couple of points where you got a little too caught up in the homage to Talmak's story, like that whole exchange about whether the BDU cost $45 or $60.
Anonymous
5/7/20, 8:10 AM
Awesome story! And i second Elm's comment, this site needs more Orcs
5/7/20, 8:07 AM
There's just nothing I could say to describe how hot, insanely well written and rather emotional this chapter was. Great fucking job man I will say, having butch blindfolded, handcuffed and calling a much younger and much smaller guy sir is definitely the highlight of this entire story which makes me realise how sad it is that Aaron is so damn vanilla.
Anonymous
5/7/20, 7:41 AM
I think the sad outweighed the horny for me :( Well written though.
Anonymous
5/7/20, 5:09 AM
Very hot! Looking forward to a part 2
Anonymous
5/7/20, 4:54 AM
It was very sweet :) Would love to read more, but understand if you feel it has reached its conclusion.
Anonymous
5/7/20, 4:32 AM
This series is the best I've seen on this site in a long time and this story is the best in the series so far, love love love how dumb and hung and horny and dumb he got! Love the kinda reality change aspect too. Keep up the good work, bro!
5/7/20, 4:16 AM
Good work! I agree with the pacing concerns - but the overall the writing is great. Feels like this story has a lot of neat places it could go - for me I'm Jon doesn't stay under for too long; I really want to see them as rivals. And costumes!