Recent Comments

nycboot
6/4/23, 5:14 PM
A great start! I had no problem switching between 1st and 3rd person or whatever point of view you want to put us through (we are your reading slaves, right? :laughing:). Personally I also love stories where the victim is aware of what's happening and struggles (usually fruitlessless) against the power they will never conquer. Looking forward to more!
6/4/23, 3:26 PM
Love the story but one humiliation you failed to use is the permanent removal of their body hair which would make them feel like kids.
6/4/23, 2:39 PM
I’m both excited to read more and flattered to be an influence!! Keep up the fantastic work!!
6/4/23, 12:54 PM
I really hope you continue writing. This is a great first chapter!
Anonymous
6/4/23, 12:40 PM
hot!!!
6/4/23, 12:30 PM
Another great chapter! Can’t wait to see Ryan, Ethan and Stephen together at last.
6/4/23, 12:22 PM
Thanks, guys, for all the encouragement! Because of the constructive criticism about the confusing nature of POV and time, I'm doing a quick revision to address that issue, and will continue it in future sections. It was always my intent to both provide the omniscient narrative AND take a look inside the helpless brains of the ones being controlled.

Martin
6/4/23, 12:30 PM
@[Millard](/user/show/914224) > It was always my intent to both provide the omniscient narrative AND take a look inside the helpless brains of the ones being controlled. That's actually something I really really appreciate and I'm looking forward to read more about this!
Anonymous
6/4/23, 12:19 PM
hot and so well written transformation!!! looking forward to more...
Anonymous
6/4/23, 12:03 PM
pure magic!!!
Anonymous
6/4/23, 11:53 AM
mmm... so hot... and great set up...