Freddy Fuckmehard doesn't want to be an Erotic Pensivist, even though all Fuckmehards are. Freddy gets the chance to change his future when he gets accepted to Pigacne Academy, but when Lord Whassisname is rumored to be inching toward resurrection, Freddy will have to rely on his new best friends, his wits, and the Fuckmehard legacy to survive his first semester.