The Dong Bong

By JealousPervert
published November 29, 2020
3987 words
Summary

Some stoner smut for those who asked for it. In this story, a young man receives the wrong order in the mail and ends up joining a like-minded online community of hedonists.

Todd couldn’t wait to get home from his job at Uncle’s Pizza. It had been a hellishly busy weekend, but relief was in sight, and he had received a notification on his phone that his new piece had been delivered.

The “piece” in question was a high-quality, three-chambered glass bong – Todd was an avid collector of such things, let’s say – and he was eager to break it in and spend the evening and the next day playing video games while stoned out of his mind.

Though the package was smaller than he had expected, he opened it gleefully and unwrapped the bong, only to exclaim “What the fuck?” upon seeing it. It wasn’t what he had ordered at all, no; rather, it was a ceramic thing shaped and painted like a dick! Quite literally, the base was a scrotum (flattened on the bottom) while the chamber was shaped like the shaft of a cock, and the mouthpiece was a purplish glans rather than an open tube. “What the actual fuck?”

The card inside read: We thank you for your purchase! Our dong bong is more than a novelty item, for it is crafted with great care – no two are alike! Catering to cannabis connoisseurs who like to walk on the wild side, it offers an uncommonly smooth smoking experience unlike any other. We have no doubt that it will quickly become your favorite!

“Like hell,” Todd said, throwing the card down in disgust.

He regarded the contraption, wondering how he could get his money back, when it dawned on him that it seemed… familiar somehow. He turned it over in his hands and studied the thing, which was cast and painted very realistically, with veins and everything, and a big mushroom head just like his own.

“No way,” he said skeptically, but then just to be sure he undid his zipper and pulled down the front of his undies to examine his dick. The veins were indeed identical, and both had a freckle in the same place! “Fucking unreal. How..?”

He had a thought then.

Who hasn’t tried to suck their own dick? It’s not gay if it’s your own dick, right?

The thought excited Todd, just a little. And as his dick started to chub, it looked even more like its twin in his hands. (And as far as dicks went, he supposed he had a handsome one – he hadn’t had any complaints yet, at least.)

After the day he’d had, he deserved a proper smoke. “Fuck it,” he said, and brought the bong into the living room after filling the “scrotum” with ice water. He turned on his TV and PlayStation, and then retrieved the cookie tin from the shelf where he kept his stash. As his game loaded, he and crumbled a nice, sticky bud into the bowl that was nestled between either glazed testicle and, his lighter at the ready, put his lips to the mushroom. It’s not gay if it’s your own dick, he reminded himself, shaking his head a bit at the strange absurdity of it all.

Todd flicked the lighter aflame and toasted the weed in the little bowl, and the bong gurgled satisfyingly as he sucked the smoke into the chamber. Then he withdrew the bowl and inhaled the smoke into his lungs, exhaling it in a dense cloud a moment later.

Damn, that really was smooth! He took another toke, and as he exhaled the smoke again he could feel a good buzz settling down on him like a warm, fuzzy blanket. This strain was his favorite because it had a mellowing effect with a real nice body high, and as he took a third hit and cashed the bowl, he felt a pleasant tingle between his legs and he started getting hard. Mmmm, it was gonna be one of those highs… well, the game could wait.

He opened his laptop, intending to open his usual porn site but, being stoned, he forgot about that as he emptied the bowl of ashes and replaced them with fresh bud. By now, the oddity of sucking his own “dick” had faded considerably, and he was increasingly horny besides, and as he put his lips again to the head of the dong bong and sucked in the milky smoke he was rewarded by an unexpected and powerfully pleasant sensation in his pants. It was almost physical, almost as if…

No, that wasn’t possible. Was it?

He had to be sure. On the next hit, he chanced to run his tongue around the head a bit, and the feeling made him squirm and gasp as he felt it in his own cock. This shouldn’t be happening, it couldn’t be happening, but whether it was some trick of the dong bong or some trick of his mind it didn’t matter; it felt fucking gooood, and Todd wanted more. This time, he took in another deliciously brain-blasting lungful of smoke by putting his entire mouth around the head of the dong bong and sucking and, OH FUCK, he surprised himself by unloading in his underwear while exhaling an impossible volume of smoke.

“Holy shiiit,” he sighed, heavily dazed and more than a bit confused. He showered, ate most of the pizza he had brought home from work, and played his game into the wee hours.


When Todd woke up the next morning, he considered smoking out of one of his old pipes but decided instead to give the dong bong another try. The effects were the same as the night before – perhaps even better – with his body responding accordingly as Todd orally gratified himself on the thing. When he happened to catch sight of himself in the mirror slavering and moaning around the head of the dong bong in his smoke-filled bedroom, it drove him wild even though he had never considered himself a cocksucker. Stoned and incredibly worked up, he went down as far as he could on the “shaft,” sucking greedy, and his cock twitched and erupted just like the night before.

After breakfast and a few hours of gaming, Todd started thinking about the dong bong again, but he resisted the temptation to fire up and instead went back to the website from which he had initially ordered the triple chamber. He clicked on “contact us” and a chatbox opened:

{Hi, I’m Owen and I’ll be happy to assist you today!}

{{hi Owen, I had a question about an order I received}}

{Okay, I can certainly help you with that. Do you have an order number for reference?}

Todd looked it up and typed it in.

{Thank you! Our system shows that your order was delivered yesterday afternoon.}

{{yeah I got a package but it wasn’t what I ordered}}

{I’m sorry to hear that. Can you tell me more?}

Todd paused and tried to think of the best way to explain without going into too much detail.

{{it’s ceramic not glass and just not at all what I ordered}}

{I understand. If you’re dissatisfied and if the item hasn’t been used I can walk you through our returns process.}

{{no I used it haha I just had some questions}}

{I understand. Please click on this link to connect with someone who can better assist you. Thank you for being a customer!}

Todd clicked on the link and his browser opened another window. The background image was whorls of smoke, shifting colors and flowing ever so lazily in spiraling patterns, and a notification suggested that headphones be used for an optimal customer experience. Todd donned his headset and clicked “proceed.” As he waited for the site to load, which seemed to take forever, an ambient beat began to play, and he thought he heard some words under the music but it was difficult to make them out.

Maybe he was still a bit stoned, because instead of becoming impatient he could feel himself relaxing as he waited, staring at the screen and listening to the music. Time seemed to stand still, and he could feel his eyelids starting to droop, and he wasn’t sure how many minutes it took until at last another window popped up. It was a webcam, and it wasn’t a sales associate he was watching, but a naked skinny dude with several tattoos, gauged ears, and cropped hair dyed electric blue. He sported a sizable erection and next to him was a cock-shaped bong similar to Todd’s.

Todd’s dick hardened in response as the other man took a hit, exhaled several thick rings of smoke toward the camera and greeted him with, “Fuck yeah, bator bro! Grab your lube, hit that dong bong, and cam with me.”

Todd didn’t think it at all strange as he found himself going along. He got undressed, grabbed some coconut oil from the kitchen, turned on his camera, and fired up. Fuuck, it felt sooo good. The other cammer nodded knowingly as he masturbated slowly and encouraged, “Fuck yeah, stoner. Edge that cock. Smoke and goon out with me, bro.”

“Fuck yeah,” Todd repeated absently, stroking his tool with a dumb grin that matched the other fellow’s.

As Todd’s room and mind grew increasingly hazy with weed smoke, other webcams opened up one after another to reveal various other stoner dudes – skinny, fat, hairy, smooth, pierced and not – all exposing and pleasuring themselves as they smoked their own dong bongs. Their torrent of gooner talk filled his ears, and he joined the babbling, entranced.

“Fuck, I love to smoke and stroke my stoner dong…”

“Worship stoner penis…”

“Love getting stupid on weed and penis…”

“Need to smoke and bate all day, bro…”

“I’m a dumb fuckin’ stoner gooner…”

“Smoke and goon my brain away…”

Time lost all meaning as Todd and the others smoked bowl after bowl in their dong bongs and masturbated with increasingly goofy expressions, drooling, their slick cocks leaking uncontrollably, and unable to do much of anything but get increasingly stoned and incoherent with lust. Finally, the tattooed dude with the blue hair took a massive rip and exhaled onto his cock as he came loudly, which seemed to signal everyone else to do the same. Todd’s eyes rolled back as he sucked his dong bong, groaned, and shot his load, his cry of release joining the chorus. Then the webcams began to close one by one, and finally he followed suit.

He stumbled into the shower and stood under the warm water, still reeling and and feeling so deliciously dumb.

When Todd woke up the next day, he ate a quick breakfast and went back to the website, his lube handy, headset on, and dong bong prepped for another session.

{Hi, I’m Miguel and I’ll be happy to assist you today!}

{{bro go my dongbong read y}}

{I can certainly help you with that. For your convenience, I’m going to recommend you bookmark this link. Thank you for being a customer!}

Todd clinked the link and remembered to add it to his bookmarks. As the site loaded with the smoky, mesmerizing visuals and strange music, he was already stroking his tool lazily and teasing his nipples. After an indeterminate period of time, a webcam popped up and this time Todd was met by a slightly overweight man with glasses, red hair, marvelous tits, and a bushy beard – naked, of course, and with a dong bong that matched his stout cock.

Todd activated his webcam. “Ready to smoke and goon, stoner bro?” he asked.

“Fuck yeah,” the redhead said. “Gonna spend all day penising with my dong bong.”

“Fuck yeah, bro,” Todd affirmed, and as the two proceeded to get silly on weed and their needy cocks, they were again joined by several others who were engaged in the same activity. Once more Todd lost himself, blazed beyond comprehension, carried aloft by the smoke and the urgent, all-consuming horniness of this panting, gibbering brotherhood of masturbation savants. The virtual edging party went on for hours, and it was well into the afternoon before the group allowed themselves to go over the edge in a loud, massive, coordinated release.

After he had finished, Todd went into the kitchen for a drink and blandly observed that he had to go back to work tomorrow, and he had neglected his chores and hadn’t made it to the gym. He scarfed down some chips while he cooked some macaroni and cheese from a box. He thought about taking out the garbage at least, but then he thought about the dong bong, and he once again withdrew to his bedroom for another round.


Todd was late for work the next day, and his friend and co-worker (and dealer) Kyle noticed that he seemed a bit out of it.

When Kyle asked him what was up, Todd answered, “Oh.. yeah, I was just up too late gaming and slept through my alarm is all.”

“Just checking in,” Kyle said. “Your shirt’s on inside-out, by the way.”

“No shit?” Todd said, then noticed Kyle was right. Thinking nothing of it, he took it off and turned it rightside-out before putting it back on.. backwards. Todd giggled at his own stupidity, took the shirt off again, and this time wore it correctly.

Kyle smirked and said quietly, “Dude, you high right now?”

“Just a little buzzed,” Todd acknowledged. “I ain’t got much bud left, actually. Think you can help me out?”

“Already? Sure, man. I’ll text you.”

Later that evening, Kyle arranged to visit Todd with a fresh half-ounce, and Todd answered the door wearing only a pair of basketball shorts. He examined the baggie, hefting it in his hand, and opened it to take a deep whiff. “Fuckin’ nice! You’re a lifesaver.”

He handed Kyle six $20s and offered – as you do – to share the first bowl with him. Kyle accepted gladly and took a seat on the sofa, though he laughed out loud when Todd brought out the dong bong, thinking it a joke.

“Dude, what the fuck?? Naw, we ain’t smoking out of that! Where’s the triple-chamber you told me about?”

“They sent me this by mistake,” Todd explained. “It actually smokes great!”

“You put your mouth on that? Dude… whatever floats your boat, but I’m gonna have to pass. Don’t you have something else we could use?” Todd shrugged. “Sure, but I wanted you to see it first. I need to get your opinion on something. Just take it and look at it up close.”

“The fuck for?”

“I’m not sure. But if you notice it, you notice it.”

Kyle rolled his eyes and picked up the thing. It was heavy ceramic, and seemed to be made pretty well considering it was probably meant as a novelty item. “Yup, looks like a dick to me,” Kyle observed sarcastically. “Obviously the guy they modeled it after wasn’t Jewish, heh.”

“Huh??”.

“I’m talking about the foreskin, dude.”

“It doesn’t have a foreskin.”

“Are you blind? It’s right there!” Kyle insisted.

Todd still wasn’t seeing it. Then he had a realization and asked, “Dude, is your.. are you cut?”

“Am I? Uh. No..”

“This is gonna sound strange,” Todd began, “but do you think it looks like your dick?”

“Uh. I guess? A dick’s a dick, though, they all look more or less alike.”

“Dude, I think it’s, like, magic or something. I don’t see a foreskin, swear to God. When I look at it, I think it looks like my dick. Exactly like it. I mean it even has a freckle in the same place.” He pointed it out to him.

“There’s nothing there,” Kyle said. “Are you fucking with me right now? You’re seeing a freckle but not the very obvious foreskin?”

“Could it be your dick, though?”

“Just for the sake of argument,” Kyle said, “let’s assume it is. But how and why would some strange glass company make a bong that’s made after my dick? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I thought the same thing!” Todd said. “But that’s why I’m thinking it’s magic. It sounds crazy, but how else could it look like my dick to me, but look like your dick to you?”

“I wasn’t expecting to talk so much about dicks tonight,” Kyle said uncomfortably, putting the bong on the coffee table.

“Well, look. Like you said, let’s just assume it is your dick. Nothing wrong with sucking your own, right? Don’t tell me you haven’t tried.”

“Duh,” Kyle said, “but, man, we’re friends and all but I don’t think I’m ready to go there with you.”

“You wanna get high or not?”

“Fucking Christ. FINE. But if you take any pictures or tell anyone I ever did this, I’m gonna knock your ass into next week. Seriously.”

Todd nodded and proceeded to fill the bowl, and then he handed a lighter and the dong bong to Kyle for the first hit. Kyle gingerly put his mouth on the tip and sparked up, which looked and felt to Todd as if his own dick was being teased by his friend’s lips. He tried not to give anything away and subtly moved a pillow over his lap to conceal his growing erection.

Kyle exhaled the smoke and passed the lighter and dong bong to Todd. “All right, it does hit pretty good,” he admitted.

Todd didn’t look at Kyle as he took a satisfying hit, but he did notice his friend shift in his seat a little. He handed it back, and Kyle took a second hit and his eyes widened as he felt it in his cock, which started to harden.

Todd grinned. “You feel it, huh?”

“The fuck..?”

“I’m telling you, bro, it’s magic. Feels good though, right?”

“Yeah, but…ohhh…” His thoughts were cut off as Todd slid his lips over the head of the dong bong and look a deep, slow hit.

Kyle took the dong bong back and asked, “So, wait. It feels like… mine. But when you… does that mean…?”

“Yeah,” Todd said. “It feels like mine to me.” He moved the pillow from his lap to reveal the tent in his shorts, and winked.

“Is this gay?”

“Who gives a fuck, bro? Whatever it is, just enjoy it.”

Kyle took another hit, and this time he just allowed himself to relish the sensation, even as Todd moaned with his own delight. As the high settled over him, and Todd took his turn, Kyle closed his eyes and moaned, “Fuuuck, that’s nice.”

While Todd cleaned out the cashed bowl and prepared another, Kyle asked him, half-jokingly, “So you like sucking my dick, huh?”

“About as much as you like sucking mine,” Todd replied good-naturedly, if not honestly. He not only liked it, but loved it. While stimulating his own cock via the dong bong was immensely satisfying, giving oral pleasure to his buddy’s cock at the same time had added a new erotic dimension that he was very eager to explore further.

“Fair,” Kyle said. “Man, you’re gonna have to show me where you got this thing!”

Todd liked where this was going. “Right this way, bro,” he said, taking the dong bong and his guest to the bedroom. He sat Kyle in his chair and pulled up the site. “Here, put this on,” he said, handing over his headset.

“Sure,” Kyle said, donning it. “Fuck, man,” he sighed, “I’m really high.”

“Same, bro. Just chill out for a bit while I get us some water.”

“Thanks,” Kyle said appreciatively. “This website is some… trippy….. shit…” He stared at the slowly swirling screen while the ambient beat played, and when Todd returned (with water and the coconut oil) he was still staring quietly, his mouth hanging slightly open, a blank and serene expression on his face, his boner visible through his trousers. If he even registered that Todd was stripping beside him, he offered no complaint. Then Todd pulled up a chair and stared along with him, sinking into the zoned-out-but-horny feeling that by now had become not just familiar, but welcome.

Before too long, a webcam opened up, featuring a skinny dude with a moustache, an unruly mop of brown hair, and an impressive boner. Todd unplugged the headset so they could both hear and opened his own cam. “Fuck yeah, bros! Fire up your bong dongs and fuckin’ bate with me.”

Todd’s glassy, reddened eyes met Kyle’s. “You ready, bro?”

“Fuck yeah, bro,” Kyle said. He stood up to disrobe and resumed his place as Todd fired up the dong bong and both of their cocks reacted in unison, while the guy on cam did the same.

Todd handed the dong bong to Kyle, who took his hit and took his time exploring the head of the thing with his tongue, eliciting shared moans from both of them.

“Fuckin’ love how you suck that penis, bro,” Todd urged.

“Love gettin’ high on penis,” Kyle said, slowly stroking his uncut cock, moaning as Todd took a hit and then leaned over to exhale a thick cloud down over his bro’s crotch. “Fuuuck, bro,” Kyle slurred. When it was his turn, he reciprocated by exhaling his smoke directly into Todd’s face.

By now the pair had an audience of several other gooning stoners who offered similar affirmations of cocklust as they smoked their own dong bongs and surrendered to penis, edging and edging their leaking cocks, eyes crossed with pleasure, tongues out, drooling, babbling mindlessly. Todd and Kyle, of course, were as helpless as the rest of them, and in that moment each felt genuine affection for the other, relishing the bator bro bond that was even more wonderful and powerful in person.

“Guh gug gaaaa, penis, peeenis…” Kyle droned.

“Masturbate peeenis, serve peeeenis,” Todd chanted.

As the hours passed in this manner, the room was nearly opaque with smoke. At last, one of the gooners succumbed to the need for release, unleashing a loud avalanche of orgasms as the rest followed suit. Kyle and Todd seized up in unison, their muscles rigid and toes curled as they shuddered and groaned and rode the wave of masculine sexual energy that had been building up all night. Then the webcams closed, one by one.

“Bro,” Kyle sighed happily, spent.

“I know, bro,” Todd said breathlessly, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m fuckin’ covered,” Kyle said. “I dunno if I can move.”

“Me too,” Todd said.

Eventually, the two young men struggled through their lassitude and helped one other to the shower, where each assisted the other in soaping up and washing off. “I gotta say, bro,” Kyle said, “You got a nice dick, no homo.”

“Thanks,” Todd replied. “Yours too, bro. Never seen an uncut one up close before.”

Kyle, still too blazed to drive home safely, crashed on the couch for the night. The following morning, neither discussed the night before – what needed to be said? – though they did chuckle a bit as they each ate a banana for breakfast and Todd mimicked performing fellatio.

“Did you still want me to show you how to get a dong bong?” he asked as they prepared to walk to their cars and go to work.

“Eventually,” Kyle said. “But, if you don’t mind, I’d actually like to come over again later and just share the one. If you don’t mind.”

Todd smiled. “Fuck yeah, bro. Anytime.”

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