Recent Comments

Anonymous
6/17/17, 12:43 PM
repeated paragraph, punctuation, spelling (Board vs Bored) and grammar mistakes were distractions but the story line is good and I like the Anti-hero idea. Super rape or having a five man orgy with him servicing them all at the same time because of his super speed.. all wonderful possibilities. Very imaginative!
Anonymous
6/17/17, 12:01 PM
LOVED IT, and the illustrations as well.
Anonymous
6/17/17, 11:52 AM
Thanks man! Blew a few loads to this story. I actually work out naked with a private trainer and it's way better than wearing clothes!
Anonymous
6/17/17, 10:38 AM
Thanks for the feedback.
Anonymous
6/17/17, 9:58 AM
The lack of punctuation killed this story for me
Anonymous
6/17/17, 8:04 AM
I'll have to be the outlier and say I'm actually liking it and looking forward to the next chapters. Hope you're still interested in making them ... Yeah I guess that makes me creepy too. :D
Rider Vitalli
6/17/17, 6:01 AM
I'll admit, the story as is was written as an extended caption, not ever meant to be fully fleshed out. My writing tends to be either long and detailed, OR swift and to the point. I can see where this makes the story feel rushed. I love all the advice and ideas you've all given! This is why I posted here as well as CYOC! I'll keep all of this in mind next time I write something! Also, Cigarcubatx, I'd love to chat! hit me up, my email is available and we can definitely discuss ideas! =D
Anonymous
6/17/17, 5:57 AM
The further and further the story goes the creepier and less appealing it becomes.
cigarcubatx
6/17/17, 4:51 AM
As far as a second chapter, I wouldn't mind seeing him returning to the man of his own volition.
Anonymous
6/17/17, 3:19 AM
I am loving this series. Grew up in Brooklyn. Subways were part of life. Keep writing.
Anonymous
6/17/17, 3:17 AM
Who the f*** pissed you off? Damn!! I hope your writing is therapeutic.
Anonymous
6/17/17, 1:27 AM
I like where this is going actually. It's not your typical robot story and I really find it hot. Keep writing and keep up the good work!
Anonymous
6/16/17, 10:22 PM
I dont mean to get personal but Edlam, could you tell me how many words, one third of the chapter, 5000 words, or else, to narrate the ginger family in the next chapter? I really miss them... Thx!
Anonymous
6/16/17, 3:36 PM
Love your dark and evil stories. It matches your style of writing. You are doing a great job!!
Ragnarok
6/16/17, 2:42 PM
I agree. It fits this site just fine. However you should not have rushed the end of the story. I mean it had great build up and I definitely would have appreciated lots of smut. Though, I just think you had a lot of potential with this story and you kind of dropped the ball at the end-zone. You may want to consider adding a second chapter or revised version though where the man kidnaps him again and punishes him more. This time with physical and sexual abuse till he breaks and craves it to the point that maybe he helps the guy kidnap his best friend or something along the lines of building a new incest family with the man. Either way you have great talent for this kind of witting; just please in the future don't rush the finished product and post a story when you aren't completely ready to.
Rider Vitalli
6/16/17, 1:06 PM
See, thus is why I'm glad I added this story here as well. Actual reader opinions! Now, I don't believe I read anywhere in the guidelines that a story MUST have a sexual element included to fit the criteria... I do think I COULD have added some smut to better fit what readers want (yes, I understand that most readers use this site one handed ;] ) however. That wasn't the intent whwn I wrote this. It was in fact, as stated, a forced Masculinization story, with an implied mental change. I'll see what I can do to quench the need for sexytime when the writing bug bites again ^_^ Cigarcubatx, Thanks! It's right up my alley as well! If yoy ever wanna chat email me! Titan, having the approval of such a fantastic and noted TF writer such as yourself means alot! Thank you!!
Anonymous
6/16/17, 12:24 PM
really hot!
Anonymous
6/16/17, 10:21 AM
Wow! 👍
Anonymous
6/16/17, 8:36 AM
I think this is an intresting twist on the normal robot/tech control stories
Titan
6/16/17, 7:52 AM
I like this story and think it still deserves to be here. It is a forced transformation and though not directly about sex between two men it has something rather horny coming through. More please!
Anonymous
6/16/17, 6:12 AM
Super hot story!
Anonymous
6/16/17, 6:00 AM
Superb story! Thanks alot man@
cigarcubatx
6/16/17, 5:50 AM
Exactly what I like to read. Right up my alley.
Anonymous
6/16/17, 5:48 AM
GREAT!
Anonymous
6/16/17, 5:35 AM
Yeah to be honest this in fact does NOT fit this site's guidelines. It do pertain to mind control, hypnosis or have any gay themes at all. All that this story pertains to is non-consensual masculation of a guy which I personally don't see a place for on this site. Had you at least added a sexual conversion of his identity and final acceptance then that would be a different case.
Slavethruhypno@yahoo.com
6/16/17, 5:10 AM
Always feels good when a Superior Man slowly but decidedly takes control while changing the way the submissive thinks about himself.
Anonymous
6/16/17, 5:04 AM
Yeah, this is becoming less and less erotic with each new chapter. I've totally stopped reading this as a fetish/erotic story. I can only process this as a psychological horror.
Slavethruhypno@yahoo.com
6/16/17, 4:58 AM
It feels good to obey orders without thinking.
redbird
6/16/17, 4:44 AM
I agree with the first comment that was dark and a little anticlimactic.
Anonymous
6/16/17, 4:40 AM
Great series! Love these stories.