Recent Comments

Aug 13, 2019
Anonymous
8/13/19, 6:00 PM
strangely hot. hum.
8/13/19, 5:49 PM
The story's only 400 words long (which is amazing considering how many plot developments occur within it). On the basis of length, this probably should have been rejected, since the site policy says that story submissions need to be 1000 words or less. I think there is a way to get a great story out of this material, but it would probably need to be closer to 4000 words than 400.
Martin
8/13/19, 4:28 PM
> I know this is going to sound douchey, but — just because someone posts a story doesn’t mean it should go up on the site. Editorial control should allow the editor to make a qualitative assessment and determination. I know that opens up another door for Martin to deal with, but, quality control demands it. This story sucked. It should never have been posted. It’s really that simple. Actually, I've struggled with this story. I wanted to give myself some time to decide and maybe even contact the author, but then someone of the staff approved the story. My mistake, because I should have left a notice to wait with the approval. Anyway, I'm conflicted. Contacting the author would mean a lot of work, discussions, explaining myself, probably hurt feelings... Not approving without any comment to the author is not only impolite, it also leaves the new aspiring author hanging in the air. Even if someone is inexperienced and struggling with his first story, it's still his baby, and of course you want to get a reaction - preferably a helpful one. And you never know, maybe there's a great author hidden behind those first, awkward, clumsy attempts - you might just have to give him some time and experience. But I'd love to know your opinion on this. How tight should we quality control the stories posted on GSS? [Please go to this thread](https://forum.gayspiralstories.com/t/quality-control-on-posted-stories/1001) to discuss this! I'd really appreciate your input!
Aug 13, 2019
Anonymous
8/13/19, 3:38 PM
Looking forward to more of this one!
8/13/19, 3:21 PM
>wonderful character development! EXCELLENT metaphors > Wow! Thank you very much! Wait till you meet the rest of the Herd. The truth is, I had a whole lot of fun writing this story -- and actually learned a lot about cow breeds and animal husbandry and pack riding (more on that in later chapters) -- I go to some pretty weird places, but somehow it all just falls together and works. Plus, it plays on some of my favorite kinks. MILK MAN was the first story I wrote... and it shows. I wrote MILK MAN 2 about four or five years later, and upon revisiting this world, I knew a lot more about writing long-form and how to use the concepts -- and symbols and metaphors -- to their full advantage. Enjoy this crazy ride. This Big Ride...heeheehee > I’m envious! > Please... if you only knew how many orgasms I owed to you...
Anonymous
8/13/19, 3:03 PM
lets make him a slutty lapdancing stripper!
8/13/19, 2:33 PM
Are there more chapters planned for this? Rereading it, I notice the bracelet goes black. That could be a complete ending :(
Stroppy Author
8/13/19, 2:32 PM
mate! wonderful character development! EXCELLENT metaphors. I'm envious!
8/13/19, 2:19 PM
> I very much love humiliation & dialog like that > I was working to set up both the BULL's arrogance/ homophobia/ dominance and counter-balance it with Guernsey's low self-esteem. It's a starting place. We won't see the BULL again for a while -- he becomes more a "presence" in the next few chapters -- so I had to establish him early.
Anonymous
8/13/19, 1:27 PM
I know this is going to sound douchey, but --- just because someone posts a story doesn't mean it should go up on the site. Editorial control should allow the editor to make a qualitative assessment and determination. I know that opens up another door for Martin to deal with, but, quality control demands it. This story sucked. It should never have been posted. It's really that simple.
Anonymous
8/13/19, 12:45 PM
this is the first story I'm ever commenting on because it's one of the best I've ever read. I can't wait to read more.
Hunter_C_Wolf@Hotmail.Com
8/13/19, 11:26 AM
Interesting twist, I very much love humiliation & dialog like that very much.
Anonymous
8/13/19, 10:46 AM
Please continue if possible, it is truly one of the best story I've read in a while.
Anonymous
8/13/19, 8:54 AM
damn please make a part 2
Anonymous
8/13/19, 8:32 AM
Using a genie as a framing device would've worked better if our protagonist remembered the world before the wish and knew he got himself into this situation, I think.
Anonymous
8/13/19, 7:52 AM
Awesome!! Every intellectuals and nerds must become a jock to build a solid foundation of our society.
8/13/19, 7:28 AM
I'm sorry. Is this an attempt at a story? I don't consider this as a story at all. Everything happens too fast and it is jarring. You have Simon who hates demons. Coincidentally you have a demon that specifically targeted him. Not only that his resistance is so pathetic. Coincidence - 2 Mind Possession - 1 Demons + 1 Lazy Writing - 10
zefrog3@Yahoo.com
8/13/19, 7:28 AM
i like the idea but it need more flesh on the bones.
Nice but too quick
8/13/19, 7:01 AM
Everything happens too quick. I wish to see more struggle, the slower changes in emotion etc.
8/13/19, 6:27 AM
Hi Wesley, I've been a fan of you and of your writing for a while now. Long enough that I know that this certainly isn't the first (or second... or third) of your stories to receive backlash here or on the NCMC. So I have three things to say: 1. You have an immense talent. Don't let anonymous commenters convince you otherwise. 2. You are terrifically brave. You aren't afraid to write gross or ugly or awful - and this loses you some fans, but it wins you others. The bleakness of your writing is very raw, very real, and very compelling. 3. You have written a masterpiece here. This story is a punch in the gut. It's a rejection of the birdcage that we find ourselves trapped in during our lives. It's a rejection of the world we live in today - and it's also a hope for a better tomorrow. I hope you and your husband are in a better place, and I hope you'll be able to find a happier ending for your story too. Best wishes.
Aug 9, 2019
rudy blues
8/13/19, 5:34 AM
i really hope more is added to this story, I'd love a sequel where the coach is begging him to be locked in chastity
Anonymous
8/13/19, 5:18 AM
Very very sexy
Anonymous
8/13/19, 4:32 AM
Really loved this one. So hot.
8/13/19, 3:36 AM
*<.<* *>.>* *whispers* Grakata.
8/13/19, 2:48 AM
Yes, a thoughtful/sad ending, but that's what made it a really satisfying and thoughtful story. Thank you!
Anonymous
8/13/19, 2:47 AM
I agree. It was hot, but fast like a two-minute orgasm.
8/13/19, 1:42 AM
I can be hyper-analytical and hyper-critical at times, so feel free to ignore my comment. Some people want to write a story that has, for example, x, y, and z in it. But a satisfying story can't imply have x, y and z without additional thought. See the Wikipedia article on **[Dramatic structure]**(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dramatic_structure). So say you want demonic possession. You can simply have a demon approach a subject and say "I'm going to take you over!" But who would even care? Thus you have to write in order to draw the reader in. Like you suggest, having the character act the opposite from the outcome can be dramatic - in this case, Simon is not at all interested in demons and Satanism. So then you have to build up the demon to also have some kind of character. But you've not even given him a name. I've read all the demon stories on this site, and none of them comes close to the supreme one, **[Bargain](https://www.gayspiralstories.com/newStory/show/1903)** by wishbone blue. The first chapter is really excellent - everything is set up, we discover the characters of both protagonists, and if it's your kind of fetish, you want to keep reading. (Unfortunately he never finished it; I've toyed with the idea of supplying my own ending.) So I encourage you to think about these things as you continue to write and improve your skills.
Anonymous
8/12/19, 10:56 PM
the ending made me feel kinda sad for him 😢
Anonymous
8/12/19, 10:44 PM
could you make him crossdress or act like his daughter?
8/12/19, 10:28 PM
TNT a volunteer?