Recent Comments

4/11/21, 4:44 PM
Yep, definitely glad I kept on reading this series. You're doing a good job at evoking the driven-by-the-victims nature of the transformations taking place, and the sex is pretty darn hot - not least because of the literal hellfire. On a very personal and subjective level, I'm kind of disappointed you did a full reversal on Dom! I was hoping he'd become an insatiable vers, a guy who's unbelievably dominant and capable of fucking order into others while also constantly craving dick and every so often giving in to exert his power by riding their dicks to oblivion because he just has to scratch that itch deep inside. What I'm saying is, don't rob him of the slutty hole Sam gave him! From a writing standpoint, only one thing jumps out at me to watch: passive voice. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it subtly slows down the narrative and robs it of a tiny bit of impact. Two examples from this chapter are "...shoes soon becoming drenched" and "getting torn apart". Could easily be rephrased to "soon drenching his shoes" and "tore him apart". I really have to watch for this in my own writing as well. A rule I try to make for myself is to look for any use of the verbs to be, to get, and to have. They're major culprits in creating needlessly lengthy sentences and verb constructions ("he was trying to have gotten laid"), and there's almost always a better, more specific option available anyway (he was feeling horny --> he felt horny --> his cock shot to full hardness, dripping and eager to fuck). Keep up the great work!

4/12/21, 12:54 PM
@Noam de Pluma I know that when we wrote this, MisterXIX and I spoke for a while about keeping Dom's changes or not and it was a tricky one to decide on. I think we shared your desire to see him embrace his slutty side but still be dominant, but we felt that we didn't want create new characters at the expense of previously set-up ones... we felt we'd run into the area of each transformation taking the path of the corrupted making their sexual partner their inferior... which, believe me, we have a lot of ideas for - but Dom has his part to play in the story as he is! Thank you for your critique as well, we appreciate your feedback and will certainly look out for instances of passive voice.
nycboot
4/12/21, 2:31 AM
I keep hoping that there will be some sexual energy exchanged between James (the mortal) and the demon. :)

4/12/21, 12:48 PM
@nycboot Well, I won't give anything away, but I don't think you'll be disappointed!
4/12/21, 10:10 AM
Awwww. The ending actually makes it seem like the guys are going to bond. I like when stories have surprisingly emotional twists and turns. And note how none of Willem's so-called "bros" have checked on him...Jake seems like he could be a real friend. :)
Anonymous
4/12/21, 8:30 AM
So excited for the next chapter
Anonymous
4/12/21, 7:17 AM
i stopped reading after it was "the mayor"
Apr 11, 2021
4/12/21, 6:40 AM
I'm incredibly intrigued. I can't wait to see what further pleasures the Infestation brings to their hosts.
4/12/21, 5:50 AM
Looking forward to next chapter and the get together with neighbor.
4/12/21, 4:34 AM
bloody fantastic
Apr 11, 2021
Willie Cici
4/12/21, 3:06 AM
The beginning of what I'm sure will be an incredible series. Damn!! I loved it. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Apr 11, 2021
Gasuda
4/12/21, 3:00 AM
Good start! Maybe you could have further modifications to the hosts over time the longer they have a parasite hijacking their body? We don't have a lot of insect stuff on here, and it would be interesting to see some heavy transformation with this.