The Knights of the Round Table are charged to pursue a noble quest - - -
King Arthur assembled his knights of the realm. Arthur had quashed the rebellion. Lancelot and Guinevere were seized and justice dispensed for their infidelity to King Arthur. Arthur assembled the the knights in the Great Hall and addressed his noble throng. “Noble Knights, in a vision, I have been charged to find the Holy Grail, the chalice used at the Last Supper. This Grail will sanctify the land and purify us for our crimes and sins. I dispatch you to search the land, to take up the cause.”
Sir Bors and Sir Lionel rose from their seats, “My Liege, we accept your charge.” Holding their swords by the blade as to form a cross, they continued, “We pledge our souls to this quest.” All the knights rose from their seat and likewise pledged their lives to the King’s quest.
The following morning Sir Bors, Sir Lionel, Sir Perceval, Sir Galahad, Sir Gawain, and Sir Bedivere gathered their squires and pages and began their trek across the plains of the British peninsula. They crossed the British Isle five, six, seven times before they returned to Holyhead in Wales. There, they crossed the channel and traveled to Ireland, having received information that a monastery near Glendalough housed the artifact. The knights crossed the channel and trekked south through the mountain passes of Wicklow. As they reached a clearing, they found a castle that sported the colors of the Britons. The knights, believing they would find a friend to their king, approached the castle.
The servants of the castle’s master admitted the knights. The knights entered a great room where the master of the castle greeted the pilgrims. “My lords, welcome. I am Cedric, Thane of Kindalaugh.”
“Good friend”, said Sir Perceval, “Our Master, Arthur, King of the Britons, whose colors grace your castle, has commissioned us to find the Holy Grail. We are here on the Isle of Eire to seek the Grail.”
“Your search has led you to the cave where a Temptress guards the prize. A Grail lies therein.”
“Why has no one tried to destroy this Temptress?”
“Her powers are beyond our ken. Go and follow your quest.” The knights thanked their guest for the hospitality and bid a temporary adieu. Once the knights left the castle room, the master of the castle transformed into half-naked black clad female figure. “Yes. My powers are great. Your fate is sealed.” The Temptress evaporated into a dark cloud of smoke and slithered through the windows of the great castle heading for the cave to ensnare Arthur’s brave knights.
The knights made haste towards the cave. As they entered the cave, they followed the path and entered a large cavern where light entered from a hole in the ceiling of the cave. As they walked about the cave, the knights noticed weird rock formations surrounding the walls of the cave. Sir Bors and Perceval whispered to the other, “These rocks resemble human forms, and yet that cannot be.”
Sir Galahad admonished the knights, “Brothers, take heed. We enter a den that knows no deity.”
As they continued to walk about the cavern, sunlight began to pierce the openings in the ceiling of the cavern. Within minutes, the sunlight shone directly upon a pedestal. Upon the pedestal, in the center of the cavern, stood a simple stemmed cup, chiseled from wood. It bore no metal, no jewels, and no markings. Suddenly, a small child appeared and said, “Take the cup, dip it in the pool and drink.”
Each knight took a gulp from the cup. The knights could not describe the taste of the nectar they drank from the cup. Each knight began to feel warm, overheated. They began to remove their outerwear hoping to reduce their fever. When that did not suffice, they removed more of their clothes until they stood about naked. As each knight removed more and more of their clothes, they became more aware of the physicality of their brother knights. Naked prompted erect.
“What has happened to us?”, said Sir Perceval.
Suddenly, the figure of the child morphed into the half-naked black clad female figure, the Temptress. “Your lust had led you to this place. The Grail Pléisiúirmanly.” As the Temptress spoke these words, the knights grabbed their manhoods and began to stroke their noble members, slowly at first, but with ever-increasing speed. The Temptress smiled as the knights of the realm succumbed to her wiles. She positioned the knights in pairs, so to mutually pleasure the other. The knights lay on the ground and sucked each other’s cocks. The Temptress watched as the knights sucked and licked the cocks of their brothers in arms. When the knights began to moan, the Temptress led the knights to the pedestal, to the pool of nectar. “Now, discharge yourselves into the pool.” Each knight discharged their cum, a pint of jizz replenishing the nectar of the pedestal’s pool.”
As the knights relieved themselves and gained their composure, their anger rose. They charged upon the Temptress wanting to attack her. “Why have you done this to us?”, they shouted at the Temptress.
Suddenly, like a tornado, a strong driving wind blew about the cavern. In the dust of the wind, the figure of another woman, spoke to the knights, “This is how you treat my child. For this, you will pay.” The woman waved her arms as she hovered over the knights. The knights froze in place. She grabbed Sir Galahad, stroked his cock until he was hard, and placed him near the north wall of the cavern, his cock inserted into an opening in the cavern’s wall. She grabbed Sir Bors, stroked his cock until he was hard, and rammed his cock into Sir Galahad’s ass. She repeated this process with the remaining knights, until the woman created layers of cock-impaled knights. “You will remain frozen except for your pelvic muscle and asshole. And you will remain there until the day that your actions become the norm.” Suddenly, a coating of granite fell upon the knights, like volcanic ash. As the shower of granite dust fell upon them, their forms slowly became part of the wall of the cavern. For eternity, the knights, who fell prey to the wiles of the Temptress and tasted the nectar of manly pleasures, would remain encased in the wall of the cavern, forever ramming their cocks into the asses of their brother knights.
The Temptress and her mother, the Spirit of the Wind, entered the cavern of the Grail Pléisiúirmanly. The Spirit of the Wind circled the cavern creating a tornado-like effect. The Speed of the Wind cracked the layers of rock and dust from the bodies of all the men that had fallen prey to the curse of the evil Grail. “Wake and be free.”
Men, dozens of men, who had made their way to the cavern, who had insulted the Temptress and faced the scorn of the Spirit of the Wind, woke from their granite sleep. For centuries, they slept but still emitted their goo from eternal pelvic motion. As they walked about the cavern, the Spirit of the Wind said to them, “Drink from the Grail and replenish.”
The knights approached the chalice, dipped the cup in the pool, and drank the nectar. The knights and other men stood in a circle around the pedestal of the Grail. As the last knight drank from the cup, the Spirit of the Wind said, “The curse I placed is broken. What was unnatural is now the norm on the island of Eire.” The Spirit waved her hands and created a dusty whirlwind. “The ages have past you. The year is 2015. Learn from me.” In the minds of the Knights, they learned about the events of history that have past them these years of encasement in their cavern graves. The Spirit continued to wave her hands. Suddenly, the naked forms were clothed in modern lycra-tight exercise gear. “Go and live as you are.”
The knights of Arthur’s table gathered near the pedestal. Sir Perceval questioned, “What does she mean? How do we live as we are? Our fortunes have faded with time? And … what is this material? I love it. My member graces me so.”
“It means we can live in open society. Arthur’s court would have led us to the gallows to be hung.”
“Yeah. Hung.”, replied Galahad. The other knights laughed.
“Dick wad, this is serious.”, scoffed Bors. “Being homosexual is acceptable. Even here in Ireland.”
The Temptress drew close and said, “The People of the land have spoken. Gay may marry gay.”
“Jest not with us, O Spirit.”, said Sir Perceval.
The Temptress replied, “I speak the truth. That is why the curse is broken. What was unnatural is now the norm. You may live.”
The knights looked at each other. Bedivere spoke. “Temptress, Guardian of the Grail Pléisiúirmanly. You changed us into creatures who desire the comforts of men. We are in our prime. Iintend to sow my knightly oats. Where may I find the nearest tavern that caters to fornication with men?”
The Temptress stared at the Knights. “Spirit of the Wind, I call thee.”
The Spirit approached her daughter. “Speak child.”
“As you fed these knights wisdom of the ages and history to guide their steps, mold their language to modern tones. They speak as if it were the 700s, when clearly ‘tis not.”
The Spirit of the Wind raised her hands and created a whirlwind. When the dust settled, Bedivere looked at the knights and said, “Where can I find some cock?”
The Temptress laughed and said, “Go into the village. You will find a tavern called ‘The Locksmith’. You may enter and find the pleasures you seek.” Before they departed, the Temptress said, “Your gear and equipment are replaced to the fit these modern times.” The Spirit has also provided with the currency of the day. The Temptress displayed a wallet. “This is called a euro. It is currency, money. This is called a credit card. You shall not want for money. The credit card has no limits. Use it as if it were currency.”
The Temptress confused the knights with her explanation, but they realized that these times were not the times of King Arthur.
The knights entered ‘The Locksmith’, a leather bar near the city limits of Glendalough. As they entered the tavern, the knights noticed all the patrons dressed in leather pants, leather trunks, or leather harnesses. Some wore dog collars and a leash, paraded as dogs by other patrons. The knights gawked at the sight before them. “We are not attired for this display.”, said Bors.
Before he could convince the knights to exit the tavern, a tall, muscular leather clad man approached the knights and said, “First time?”
“Yes. It is. We’re looking for some action.”
“Oh, you are. Dressed like that, you are the action.” The leather-clad man waved his hands. In an instant, a dozen of the tavern patrons descended upon the knights and wrestled them to the ground. Once they were bound, the tavern patrons removed their lycra exercise gear and led them to a large dimly lit room. The tavern patrons placed the knights in dog collars and strapped the knights to fuck benches.
“Do you know what it means to service a man’s cock with your boy pussy?” said the tall, muscular leather clad man.
“For thirteen hundred years.”, answered a muffled Galahad.
Taken aback by the answer, the leather-clad man said, “Good. Then you won’t mind.” With that, the tavern patrons exposed their cocks and rammed their beefy cocks into the asses of the bent-over knights. The remaining patrons stood about envious of their comrades. They shoved their cocks into the mouths of the helpless knights. For hours, the knights serviced the wanton lust of the patrons of the tavern – cocks sucked and asses fucked. When the knights had been drenched with the cum of dozens of tavern patrons, the leather clad man said, “Now get dressed, get the fuck out and don’t ever come back wearing that shit in my tavern. You want pussy, come dressed.”
The knights were released from their fuck benches. They donned their exercise gear and left the tavern, facing the taunts and laughter of the tavern patrons. When the knights were outside in the parking lot, Galahad said, “Yeah. That was fun.”
The knights stared at Galahad. Bors shouted, “Have you lost your fucking mind? We were fuck toys for over two hours.”
“Yeah, it was great.”, answered Perceval.
“You, too, dick wad. What is wrong with you?”
“This is who we are. We must adapt to the times.” The knights acknowledged their comrade’s views.
Gawain chimed in. “Men, let us go to the tavern down the road. We can have a meal and some ale and figure out what our next move is.”
The knights walked towards the restaurant down the street. They entered the restaurant and were seated at a square table. Galahad asked, “Do you have a round table?”
The waitress looked at the lycra-tight Galahad. “Sit down, bitch boy.” As she walked away, she muttered, “Round table. Bleeding buggers.”
“Galahad, what is wrong with you?”, asked Bors.
“What? We always ate at a round table.”
“Galahad, time has passed us by. We live in strange times. If we do not adapt, we shall perish. That hasn’t changed from our days roaming the countryside.” Bors leaned in and whispered. “And now, we roam for boy pussy.”
When the waitress returned with a round of Guinness, the knights took their glasses, raised them high and cheered. “Resolved: we roam for boy pussy.”
The waitress stared at her table of knights. “What all-male revue did you come from?”
“We did not come from a revue. We were … entertained at the Locksmith.”
“Yeah, I knew it. You guys are too good looking and in great shape. You couldn’t be straight.” She stood ready to take their food orders. “Let me guess: you want some meat in a tight bun.”
“Yes. And don’t forget the cream.”
The waitress bust a gut laughing. “Yeah. The cream. That usually comes from the meat. I won’t forget.”
The waitress walked away. Perceval said, “What a silly goose? Cream doesn’t come from meat.”
“Well, sometimes, it does.”, Galahad answered. The knights laughed. They pondered their next action and decided to forge a new course – a new quest – The Grail of Manly Pleasures.
The next morning, the knights returned to the cave and entered the cavern of the Grail Pléisiúirmanly. The knights called out for the Temptress and her mother, the Spirit of the Wind. When the Temptress made her presence known, she asked, “Why have you summoned me?”
“Guardian of the Grail Pléisiúirmanly, we need your wisdom. We seek …”
“Look in your bags. In your gear, there is a metal folding object. Grab it.” When Galahad retrieved the object, the Temptress said, “This is a called a laptop personal computer. You can access the Internet on the laptop to research information. The Spirit of the Wind has given you knowledge – history of the times you remained frozen in time. There is much you need to learn on your own. The curse of being frozen in time is broken. The curse of being awake you will experience until your dying breath.”
The knights accessed the laptop. They approached it with fear. Once the machine did not explode or cause physical harm, the Temptress taught the knights how to use the laptop to retrieve the information they needed. Once they completed their research, they left the cavern and proceeded upon their quest.
That evening, the knights returned to ‘The Locksmith’. Tonight, they entered donned with the leather gear of superiority. Tonight, they did not intend to render service upon their knees. Tonight, they would demand pleasure. No one spoke to the knights as they entered the tavern. Their presence, now properly bespoke in authoritative leather, commanded respect. When tavern patrons approached the knights, the knights grabbed the patrons by the neck and forced them to their knees, demanded a good cock sucking. The knights enjoyed the manly pleasures of the tavern’s guests for an hour. The master of the tavern invited the knights to a rear room for more privacy. Once the knights were in the room, the master and his friends struck the knights to the ground. “If you think you can pass with that leather, you can’t.” The knights were held, bound and thrown about, asses exposed. The master of the tavern and his friends fucked the knights for hours. They bent the knights again over the fuck benches. With their hands tied behind their back, the master and his friends enjoyed the asses and mouths of the knights.
When the master and his friends had their fill, they untied the knights and said, “Get dressed. If you want to play bitch boy again, come in any time. You got some darlin’ tight arseholes. Hot mouths, too.” The master and his friends laughed at the knights as they wrangled to find their leather gear, dress and scurry out of the tavern.
Once the knights left ‘The Locksmith’, they returned to the restaurant down the road. The same waitress from the previous evening stared at her noble customers, “Little early for Halloween, ain’t it boys?” She roared at the sight of the leather-clad knights, clumsily, sauntering towards a booth in the restaurant. “A round table, my lords.”, the waitress announced.
“Thank you, good woman. Your humor is appreciated.”
As the waitress walked away, Galahad said, “Boys, I don’t think I can handle this. I hate this leather shit we wearing.” One by one, the knights began to complain of their modern-day predicament. In the next booth, a group of four men overheard the conversation of the knights. From that group of four, one man approached the round table and spoke to the knights.
“Men, have you recently awaken from a long sleep?”, asked the man.
“Um … well …”, replied Galahad.
“We were hidden in the cavern of the Grail Pléisiúirmanly. We were like you, knights from a different era, from the time of the Lionheart.” He ran his hands across his taut, muscular frame. “We have been awakened, but cannot gain acceptance in this place. The local gentry abide their own, not foreigners.”
“Brave men, we are six and you are four. Join us in our travels. Together, we can forge a common plan.”, Galahad said.
The waitress returned with a tray full of glasses of Guinness and served the drinks. She stared at the sight before her. “Do you know how much money you’d earn as male entertainers? Like Chippendale. Parade for women, men whatever. But not here. Dublin can handle you boys. This town can’t.”
Perceval retrieved his laptop and said, “How do you spell Chippendale?”
A year has passed since the Knights of Arthur and the Knights of the Lionheart formed their alliance. In Dublin, they assembled and formed a collective: a male revue that caters to the male population of the city. In these modern times, in their transformed state, the knights of Arthur and of the Lionheart found their calling.
Some of the knights also found their mates. They took their vows and settled their houses. They lived openly in society – where their lifestyle was accepted as the norm.
Here, on the Isle of Eire, the knights found the Grail: The Grail Pléisiúirmanly.