a PR film about a special courier service company.
"Hi I’m Tim.
I work as a transporter with TranCo. You might ask what a transporter does.
That is fairly simple. We transport things. Not big things, like washings machines or cars, but small and nimble things like data on USB Sticks, medication, money or documents.
You wonder, why you have never heard of us? We are a small and nifty company. Maybe you have seen one of our transporters zipping by on the highway and you have not noticed?
Well we don’t really advertise our service but good clients recommend us.
But enough talk about the Company.
Let me tell you something about my day.
I live in our Cologne facility. Every morning when shift begins I wake up by gentle chime in my alcove. I open the leather sleeping bag. Oh it’s friday. I have to change the sheets and wipe my alcove clean from the inside and outside. So I go take of the sheets, put them into the dirty laundry bag, put my night union suit in there as well.
So nudely I go and wipe my alcove and put on the new sheets.
We here have a pretty relaxed attitude towards nudity. But hey you wanted to know about my day.
Then its off for the morning work-out. Yes TranCo wants fit and healthy employees and one way to ensure that is a company wide morning work out.
Hello Boss. So it’s time for my push ups, dips, stretches and sit ups. You need to be fit to work in this job.
Boss says I’m doing fine. I really like to work out. But I should to be careful not to get to heavy as that would impede the companies profitability, you know its all about low fuel consumption these days…
So exercise is over and of we go for the morning gruel. I take out my prescribed amount of tea, its always tea and low carb porridge. Well if you are a transporter most of your meals are liquid, saves on bathroom stops.
Never the less after the breakfast I go to the bathrooms and make myself ready for a day at work. Its friday so its time for the big maintenance. I shave of my body hair with the electric clippers and buzz my black hair down to the regular 4 mm on top, then brush my teeth and then hop under the shower.
Rob is a fellow transporter here as well. Hello Rob.
We both shower and help each other to layer up. Then its of for drying and removal of the last body hair. I help Rob to shave off the delicate parts, you know the back, below your balls and where you can’t reach well.
Rob does the same for me. It’s always fun with Rob and he is gentle.
So we both dress for work. You might find out our underwear a little bit surprising, but its just to perform better. So first thing we put in is our anal plug. As we just emptied ourselves its good to have something block your annus, that way you don’t have to worry if you have to sheet or anything. The muscle and the tight underwear will keep it in place.
Next thing is the bladder catheter, Rob helps me to put it in. We have a fresh one every day. You can see the little plastic tube sticking out. Rob safely attaches it to my little man. Then I do the same for Rob.
So now that the body functions have been dealt with its time to dress up. So we put the one piece stretch lycra dash functional under suit on. Its nice an black, has my employee number on the breast and back, a well positioned hole for the catheter. Then go the functional socks.
So its time for the leather one piece motorcycling suit. All in the company colors: black with red stripes, my name Tim on the right breast, some padded parts for protection. I close the zipper and stretch myself. Now I put on the heavy, steel enforced leather boots. They are quite comfy for walking, hiking riding.
Rob gives me my backpack, I can feel he has already filled it up with nutritional fluid this is important to keep us up and hydrated as well as feed during the rides.
Next I put on the gloves. First a pair of undergloves and then then well padded leather gloves. Those seal with the suit. So I’m sticking in a one piece watertight leather outfit from neck to toe. Cool.
The catheter exits in the right trousers pocket, so if I need to pee I can just discreetly lead it flow on the highway or even go to a bathroom and empty me out there.
Then I leave for the duty manager station. My suit has front pockets, so if there is only a small package to be taken care off, we put it in there. Some clients can also seal it and it will only go off at the destination. Some rely on traditional locks.
Henk is the duty manger, not sure how old he is and how long he has been working here, but for us he is like a father. Boss I’m ready.
Boss wears the same leather motorcycle suit then we. The only ones who wear something different are the mechanics and technicians, they have their own overalls. You would think they get dirty, but they keep them clean and wash them every night.
Boss does a couple of things: he checks my catheter and butt plug by feeling it and then locks my suit. Yes you heard it right. There are small locks on my boots, that connect the suit to them, small locks on the gloves and there is one where my helmet connects to my suit. As the suit is much more then a normal riding suit, it has to be locked to function properly.
As its locked I know it will only come off when I come back off duty at the end of my shift. Hot, isn’t it?
Boss has already programmed my helmet. The helmet is a very good clever thing. It has an integrated telephone, GPS and rear view camera. It also connects to my suit and the motorcycle. So when its on it projects the destination and navigation info into my field of view, data from my engine like speed and stuff and I don’t need to turn right or left to look back.
There is also a telemetry feed back into central, so that they can track me and advise me.
For safety only the helmet knows my destination. It will direct me where to retrive my package and where to bring it.
Boss motions me to put my helmet on. I sit down on the comfy leather seat in his office. I plug my suit with a little cord into the electric supply.
Then I put the helmet it atop my head and fastened the chin straps tight. My helmet is really comfy. I can feel a certain silence. Yes the helmet is almost noise tight, when you wear it. But for traffic there is a environment mode in which you can hear what is spoken around you. But right now the helmet is starting up and calibrating itself to me, so it blocks out all the noise.
Boss starts to fiddle with the rear of the helmet and connects the water supply and the electric cord to my suit.
Next I bring down the mouth piece. Well you might better call it a face piece as it straps tightly over my noose and mouth. That the reason we keep us transporters faces smooth. The mouth piece has an integrated tongue guard. Well thats the offical name. In reality its more like a dildo, which is connected to the water supply. If I’m thirsty and want to drink I can just suck it. As soon as I press a button the dildo starts expanding and depressing my tongue. So I can not talk anymore… “