I Love Him, But... pt 2

By EdIam
published January 2, 2012

My conscience is just too strong. What to do, what to do?

Continued from Part 1. Read that first!

(mc, mm)

As before, this is my first story, so constructive criticism is ok, just be gentle :D

“What the FUCK is going on here?” Kyra screamed.

I pulled my head away and instantly began turning red. My mind started going a mile a minute. Oh fuck, I’m going to get my ass beat. Or she’s going to break up with Ryan, and it’ll all be my fault. Oh fuck, oh fuck. What the hell am I going to do? What the fuck is Ryan going to do?

“Oh, hey, Kyra. Nothing much. Rob was just licking my nipples.”

I almost shit my pants. He was still acting as though it was nothing!

“Just licking your nipples?” Kyra stormed towards her nude and erect boyfriend, “And why are you naked, Ryan? Better question: why the fuck are you hard?”

“Well, I felt like taking my clothes off. It just felt right, Kyra. And I’m hard because Rob gave me an amazing foot rub. Honestly, hun, he has amazing fingers. You should let him give you one.”

Kyra turned her understandably furious head towards me and drilled her eyes into mine.

“What the fuck is going on with my boyfriend, Rob?”

Though I was frozen from fear, Ryan on the other hand, was, completely baffled at his girlfriends reaction. “Hunny, what are you so upset about? Everything is perfectly fine. Nothing is going on here!”

Her look of death shifted back to her boyfriend, “Nothing is going on here? NOTHING IS GOING ON HERE? You’re naked, hard, and letting your gay roommate suck on your nipple and nothing is going on here? Rob’s in love with you, Ryan, we ALL know that and you’re letting him fucking lick your naked body!” Kyra was throwing her hands into the air crazily and looked as though she was about to punch her boyfriend in the face.

Ryan stood up, still hard as a rock, hugged his girlfriend, and calmly stated, “Sweetheart, I have no clue why you’re so upset. This is completely normal. There is literally nothing wrong with what’s going on.” I couldn’t help but think how cute he was as he tried to comfort his girlfriend. And it was that thought that snapped me out of my stupor.

I grabbed the Megawave, cleared my throat, and stuttered, “Kyra, everything is completely normal. You don’t find anything out of the ordinary. Ryan is still your boyfriend and I am still your friend. Just say you over-reacted, kiss your boyfriend, head home, and forget ever coming over here. And Ryan, after she kisses you and leaves, you’ll forget that she was here.”

Kyra calmed down in a fraction of a second. “Oh, I’m sorry Ryan,” she looked at me, “Rob,” back to Ryan, “I don’t know what came over me. This is completely normal. It just feels right. I think I’ll just head home.” She kissed Ryan and instantly walked out of the apartment.

Letting out a deep sigh, my guilt finally got the best of me. “Ryan, put on all your clothes, get soft, and wake up, thinking you’ve been asleep from 7 pm until now.”

He gathered all his clothes, and began putting them all back on. Slightly broken hearted at losing all I had hoped for, I decided to just go to bed. I grabbed my Megawave, headed towards my room, and as I walked down the hall, Ryan sat on the couch and instantly acted as though he had suddenly awakened from a brief nap. I closed my bedroom door just as I heard Ryan say, “Did I pass out on you, I’m sorry Rob!”

“Damn it,” I muttered to myself. Why couldn’t I just not care. Why couldn’t I just shut off my conscience and let myself go. Yes, I loved him. And yes, he loved me (as a friend). But he’s just so perfect for me. Why did my guilt have to put a damper on my fun?

Because, I told myself, you love him. Therefore, you don’t want to mess up his life. You don’t want to change who he is and what his life will become merely for your own desires.

Getting into my pajamas and climbing into bed at a very early 7:45, I couldn’t help but cry a little. I wish I wasn’t such a good person, I said to myself with a slight laugh. Because then I’d make him my perfect little sex slave. If only I didn’t love the fucker. And with that thought, I slipped into a deep sleep.

As I dreamed, I found I had Ryan in a sexual stupor. I had him wanting me, loving me, being with me, desiring me. We did all manner of sexual positions. He drooled over my cock, I sucked his dick dry. We were like two dogs in heat. And when I woke up, my bed, underwear, and sheets were all soaked. I had never had such a vivid, hot, and productive wet dream. I decided right then, I had to figure out a way to do something, ANYTHING with Ryan. It just had to be not too much and not too far.

And then it hit me.

Diving out of bed and straight to my computer, I opened a Word document and started typing carefully and methodically. I had to get these words right. No loopholes or mistakes.

When I felt as though the phrasing was airtight, I printed the document, snatched the paper, grabbed the Megawave, and ran out of my room. Walking down the hallway towards Ryan’s room was one of the most intense ten seconds of my life. My heart was on fire with the possibilities of what could happen.


“Rob…?” a groggy sounding Ryan muttered. I heard a clutter from in his bedroom, “Dude, it’s only 8 in the morning, leave me alone.”

Putting the Megawave up to my mouth, I stated quite firmly, “Ryan, come to the door and open it now.”

Instantly I heard a movement from in the room. It sounded as though he was running towards the door. As the door opened, there stood Ryan, in nothing but his sexy, tight boxer briefs. He sleepily looked at me and wondered, “What do you want, buddy?”

This was the moment of truth. Putting my invention to my mouth:

“Ryan, answer me truthfully. Do you have any plans for today?”

“No, I was just going to hang around the house and maybe go for a walk with Kyra.”

“Ryan, you’re going to stay at the house all day and when we’re done talking, you’re going to text Kyra and tell her that you are really busy with homework, but you’ll see her tomorrow night. Understand?”

“Sure, Rob. Sounds good. We done talking now? Can I go back to bed?”

“No, Ryan. Now I want you to listen to me very carefully. I’m going to read this to you and you need to process every word and be able to recite it back to me. Ok?”

“Ok, Rob.”

I took in a deep breath. This was what I had been waiting for since the first moment I looked into his gorgeous green eyes freshmen year. Pulling the paper up to me, I began to read:

“Ryan, when I am done saying this to you, you are going to grab this,” I motioned to my note, “and this,” my Megawave, “from my hand, and say EXACTLY what is written upon it into this machine. Ok?”

Ryan grabbed the note and Megawave from me and read the carefully chosen words back to me:

“Rob, you will no longer have a guilty conscience when dealing with your sexual fantasies about me until 9 pm tonight. All day today, you will be clear of all shame and will do whatever you want to me. At 9 pm tonight you will revert back to yourself, knowing that you can only allow yourself guilt free experiences every now and again when Ryan is completely free. Knowing you won’t hinder his school, end his relationship with his girlfriend, or lose sight of the fact that Ryan is heterosexual. When I’m done saying this, Rob, you will say exactly what you want to do to me as I am all yours for all day today.”

And at that exact moment, something clicked in my head. I can’t fully describe what it felt like. The best word I can use to describe the glorious feeling was that it felt free. It felt like anything was possible with Ryan and there wasn’t anything anyone could do about it. The freedom was remarkable. Endless possibilities paraded into my brain. All manners of sexual deviance almost escaped from my lips in mere moments. But mostly, I just smiled like I had won an Oscar, Tony, and Emmy all at once. In reality, however; I had won myself a Ryan.

Grabbing the Megawave from him, I said, “Ryan, help me out of all my clothes right now.”

I was insanely hard. Even harder than I had been the previous evening. This was how I wanted to view the world forever. This is who I wanted to be. No boundaries between me and the love of my life. He quickly grabbed the bottom of my shirt a lifted without a thought in the world. My hairless and average, pale chest greeted him. He didn’t seem to notice or care, because he was already pulling my underwear down, allowing my amazingly hard cock to spring free, sticking straight out, leaking a bit of pre-cum.

That didn’t take as long as I had planned, I thought to myself. Next time, I’ll be in a suit, not my pajamas.

“Ryan, tell me how you feel right now.”

“I’m kind of cold, uncomfortable, tired, and a little disgusted.”

“Tell me why you feel those things, Ryan.”

“Because I’m only in my underwear and it’s November. Because you’re naked in front of me. Because I didn’t get much sleep last night. And because you’re standing here naked with a boner in front of me.”

“Ryan, you’re not uncomfortable because I’m naked. You’re not disgusted because I’m naked. Ryan, you’re uncomfortable and disgusted because you’re NOT naked. You can’t believe you would be so rude as to be clothed on nude Saturday.”

Ryan looked like he had just committed the world’s worst faux pas. In a rushed, embarrassed swoop, he pulled off his underwear and danced out them, revealing my treat for the day.

“I’m so sorry, Rob. I forgot it was nude Saturday. That was so rude of me. I’m so disgusted with myself.” He looked like he was about to cry.

I pulled the machine away from my mouth and comforted him, “It’s ok, friend. I forgive you.” I gave him a small hug (my throbbing cock brushed against his soft member) and instantly put my Megawave back up to my mouth. “You won’t wear clothes for the rest of the day. If you even touch a piece of clothing, you’ll feel disgusted and uncomfortable all over again.”

Deciding to pace myself I walked, naked and proud back to my room, leaving Ryan to quietly decide to hate clothing in peace.

He should be texting Kyra now, so I can have my fill of him all day today, I thought pleasantly to myself. There is nothing that will keep me from loving that sexy piece of ass. Without a shred of remorse entering my mind, I sat at my computer, stroked my leaking cock, and surfed the net. No need to rush it. I wanted to picture what I’m going to do to him.

Ryan, in his room, had just finished texting Kyra a long story about how he had to get his homework done today and that he’d see her tomorrow. He then began crawling back into bed. On his way, he trampled upon a single sock and instantly, regret and nausea hit him square in the stomach. On the verge of vomiting at touching such a disgusting thing, he launched himself into the bed. Trying to calm his stomach, he wrapped himself in his covers and drifted back to sleep.

I, on the hand, couldn’t sleep if I wanted to. My brain was overflowing with degrading acts. I wanted him to be my dog. Then I wanted him to fuck me as hard as he could. Then I wanted him to be a submissive sex slave, desiring only my happiness. Then I needed his cock stuffed as deeply into my throat as possible. The options kept coming and coming. I couldn’t fully understand why I had ever had reservations to begin with. This was MY love. MY guy. I deserved to have him however I wanted. I mean, did Kyra love him as much as I did? I doubt it. That sexy ass was going to be mine today and that’s all there was to it.

Still stroking my cock half an hour later, mind still full of possibilities, I decided the time had arrived. Ryan was going to be my everything and it had to start here.

Grabbing the invention that had allowed such an amazing explosion of sexual energy within me, I walked back towards his room. Without even knocking I entered, proudly swinging my hard 7 ½ inches in front of me. Ryan was still sleeping in his bed, his head out of the covers, facing me. His mouth was left wide open as a small droplet of drool seeped out of the side of his mouth. Feeling rather adventurous, I grabbed my dick and guided it towards his wide mouth. I felt a shiver of excitement rush down my spine as the tip of my penis rested upon the side of his mouth. His tongue unconsciously lapped at my cock, not knowing how to process the sudden invasion.

As if I were his alarm clock, his eyes suddenly opened and a look of complete shock swept across his face. He pulled back without a moments hesitation and glared at me.

“Rob, what the FUCK do you think you’re doing?”

“Just waking you up,” I replied calmly.

He looked like he was about to die from shock. “You’ve never done anything like that with me before, man. That was unbelievably disgusting and wrong. I can’t even imagine what you’re thinking! Do you even care about our friendship anymore?”

“Not really,” I said with a wry smile.

He froze there, mouth agape. He was clearly shocked. All I could think about was how my cock should slide right back in that hole.

“Get out of my room, Rob. In fact, I’m not comfortable with living herewith you anymore. I’m going to try to find another place to live. You really need to think about what’s important here.”

With a slight burst of glee, I giggled. I pulled the Megawave up to my mouth and told my betrayed best friend, “Ryan, YOU need to think about what’s important here. The only thing that is important here is my cock. You can only think about my cock. It’s perfect and beautiful and nothing else you’ve ever experienced is more important than it.”

His facial expression magically shifted within a fraction of a second from unimaginable shock to unavoidable lust. His eyes slid straight down to my penis, which at this point was leaking a significant amount of pre-cum, and the hunger within his sparkling green eyes that I loved so much was palpable. I could sense from across the room that he didn’t even realize I was there. Just my dick. Only my dick mattered.

Slowly, he sat up in his bed, still naked, but to my delight, hard as steel. He didn’t even bother to stand; he merely crawled from the bed to the floor and edged closer and closer to the most wonderful thing he had ever seen.

Without even breaking eye contact with the head of my dick, he sat back onto his legs, looking as though he were praying to his God. Which, in all honestly, he might have been. And his quivering hands slowly rose to their new master. His left hand grabbing at the base, his right, at my testicles, he just stared and held it. In his mind, he was holding an artifact, something that was beyond riches and jewels. He was holding the only thing of any value within this world.

He refused to even blink his eyes. He could only stare and stare at the meat in front of him. Desiring it more and more. He would find tiny things about it he loved. Like the perfect straightness it had when hard. The way that vein branched off from that vein. The way the head glistened when the light hit the pre-cum just right. To Ryan, life couldn’t get better than this. He was in heaven.

I, too, was feeling the heavenly spirit. Here he was, the love of my life, unable to even process the joy he was experiencing at merely looking at my cock. I couldn’t believe what was happening.

But more importantly, I couldn’t stop imaging what the rest of the day had in store.

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